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RELINK

2009-10-03T11:56:00.003+08:00

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2009-09-30T17:38:00.003+08:00

I think deep down inside each and everyone of us, we're all dying to be loved and to love. It's probably just as simple as that, I guess. But with so many things holding us back from doing what our heart wants, we turn into sad, lonely individuals. And I guess that sometimes, because of that excruciating void in our hearts, we become mean, just because. It's said that the ones who are hurting the most are the ones who end up hurting others, and the ones who are hardest to love, are actually the ones who need the most love. I just wish that I didn't do what I did... Just because someone else hurts you, doesn't mean you have to do the same back. I just wish...

Now, it hurts.

And I hate to be misunderstood. If you don't understand my silence, then you don't understand me at all.

2009-09-29T19:43:00.001+08:00

Thank you guys for the belated birthday present/"cake"/song!
I'm spent. Anyway, I'm madly in ♥ with Boyz Over Flowers!
Oh yes, I am terribly slow but now I absolutely understand why there was this huge hoohah about it cause seriously, the show is insanely awesome, i luv it i luv it i madly luv it *continues chanting* so now, I shall leave and head back to watching my favourite show! 안녕! (i hope it's correct LOL)

182

2009-09-27T13:09:00.003+08:00

Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy but at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either, there isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being alone never was. At least when you’re alone no one constantly asks you what’s wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take “I don’t know” for an answer. you feel the way you do just because. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

(raindropsonredroses)

Yeah, i do. And it seems like this is happening with increasing frequency these days. :(
On second thought, i think i do not fancy Cole Mohr as much anymore. HAHAHAHA
But whatever.

Oh Cole Mohr Mohr Mohrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2009-09-26T13:19:00.002+08:00

Quotes Attack!!!

2009-09-26T12:45:00.003+08:00

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes — all you need is one."

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up."

"Did you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many people have pictures of you."

— One Tree Hill

"Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But we never forget them. And sometimes, it’s those memories that give us the faith to go on."

(raindropsonredroses)

"Love when you're ready, not when you're lonely."

(classics)

"I know it hurts. I know that. But if you give up now, you may be missing something greater than you could have ever imagined. And no one wants to miss something like that. Something that could change their life forever. Just keep holding on, and I promise it will get better."

"When you truly care for someone, you don’t look for faults. You don’t look for answers. You don’t look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes. You accept the faults and you overlook excuses. The measure of love is when you love without measure. There are rare chances that you’ll meet the person you love and who loves you in return. So once you have it, don’t let it go. The chance may never come your way again."

(eletheowl)

P.S I think One Tree Hill is amazing. And all of a sudden, i find myself listening to Enrique Iglesias's songs, i don't even know what to think of it. But anyway, Hero is one of my favourite songs ever...And well, before i forget to add that Vegas Skies by The Cab is bloody awesome, i love it! Oh and i need to start reading again, i'm still at chapter 2 although i'm already nearing chapter 3! On a random note, i think Owls are fascinating creatures, they're so pretty, adorable and mysterious all at the same time.

Things i wish i had...

2009-09-25T21:36:00.000+08:00

1) Vintage typewriter
2) Collection of wonderful books written by brilliant authors
3) Cute notebooks
4) Childhood diary
5) Pretty stationery
6) Postcards from all over the globe
7) Polaroids
8) Recordings of all my favourite scene from various movies and tv programmes
9) Photographs capturing the happiest moments of my life
10) Voice recordings of hearty laughter and jokes
11) Recordings of the sound of my mom, my dad, my brother, my dog barking... so i could remember them so clearly, forever...
12) Letters from Anonymous(s)
13) A continued/proper written diary
14) A notebook filled with inspirational quotes
15) Beautiful mix tapes

16) Something to capture all the wonderful, lovely moments in my Life. I just wish i had that. Cause what if one day, i can't remember anything at all. Then at least, i would have that. But... i wonder if there's this one object or thing that could capture everything just like that. Raw emotions, everything. I think that would be nice, really really nice.

178

2009-09-25T20:03:00.003+08:00

Last night, after you told me stuff about them. I thought to myself in the still silence of my room and realised that Confidence is a major major x 99 super attractive factor. And it made me figure things out about myself and it made me wanna feel confident about myself because after all, we're are all meant to be different. And yeah, if you think about it, seriously, we should all just feel comfortable in our own skin. Embrace every inch of ourselves, be fucking confident (But not arrogant/egoistic) and just be madly awesome, like most of us already are.
Cause we, we (fucking) deserve it.

***

Thank you best friend, i love you.

I wrote this for you

2009-09-25T19:57:00.002+08:00

"You could ink yourself until everyone knows all the things you love. You could wear uniforms that gave you all the authority in the world. Lose weight until there was nothing left. Paint the face. Suck in your gut.

But in the dark, stripped down to your bones, all that remains is you."

2009-09-24T16:22:00.005+08:00

Today has been pretty dull and boring.

So, i decided to catch a movie online instead and picked The Thaw. Sadly, the movie has been equally boring or perhaps even worst as compared to my day. The first few minutes were good, i thought that the movie was gonna be a great one but turns out it was THAT sucky, it seems like there wasn't even any highlight at all? Just some bugs infecting everyone and Global warming that melted the ice caps and released some sort of parasite? Like to be mean, i'll give a 1.5/5, i've got no idea why it's rated 7/10 on the site though...

My dog is supposedly sick so i'm left at home alone with her while my parents and brother are out. I don't like it when i'm cooped up at home all day/week long, it makes me bored and when i'm bored i like to start thinking and when i start thinking about things, sometimes i think too much which sometimes isn't a good thing.

All of a sudden, i have this craving. Not as in food wise, but a strange longing to go to the beach, i really wanna go there and look up at the sky and watch the clouds, make out shapes. Sit on soft warm cream colored sand and let the quiet put things back in place.

I wish i could go out more at night so that i can go to places where i can look up and see them stars sparkle and fade brilliantly against the dark and wonder about things. And i guess that would be nice, to feel peaceful and right.

I miss my friends.

174

2009-09-24T13:04:00.001+08:00

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

- Steve Jobs

2009-09-23T20:25:00.001+08:00

Okay, so i decided that my previous post earlier on this morning was way too angsty! I suppose my grades aren't as bad as i thought but quite frankly, they aren't good enough too! Considering that i know several of my classmates who have already gotten a gpa of 3.0 and above? But i tell myself that it's only sem1 and that i'm such a lazy bum so... hopefully i'll get 3.0 and above, afterall i'm merely a few 0.____ away!

And my damn aircon, although set at 25 degrees is actually freezing me, frEEZing me to death. *shivers* I just returned from having dinner with my family at Jumbo! I swear the sweet/sour fish fillet thing was awful, it felt like it was made from something artifical together with the terribly strong sweet flavours that completely overwhelmed everything, i couldn't even taste fish meat. But the pepper crab was good stuff, loved it! hehehe

So now, here i sit before the computer screen with a tummy filled to it's brim (possibly bulging now, eee) and i'll chat on msn into the night and hope that the person (!!!) better come online and say hi to me, but i guess i'd probably be the one to say hi first (again)!

Good night (whoever is reading) ^^

WTF

2009-09-23T11:31:00.004+08:00

Omg, i've gotten my results already. All i can say now is L-O-L, like seriously, seriously. I've got a whole lot of shit going on inside my head right now, tons and tons of mixed feelings about this whole crap. Haiiiiiz and the most depressing thing is seeing people who got better grades lamenting about how much they hate their grades and that it isn't good enough. Like what the fuck?!?! Seriously, please shut the fuck up and be contented. Meanwhile, i shall head to the kitchen and stuff myself with chocolates while i try to iron out my thoughts. Bye world.

P.S If you can't comfort someone, please for fuck's sake, don't make them feel any worser. Thanks.

171

2009-09-22T19:00:00.002+08:00

This is random but something that really gets on my nerve though i'm not sure why, but it bothers and annoys me a great deal (that i can blog it out) when people open their eyes really (it's like fucking abnormally wide)widely (and you tell cause it's a strained kind of tension on their faces) while taking photos just cause they want their eyes to look bigger, but it just feels so strained to me. Ugh and it really bugs me when i look at photographs like that. Don't their eyes feel equally strained as i feel when i look at them? It makes me feel like i should just sweep my hands across their lids and put them to sleep, in an instant.

170

2009-09-22T16:06:00.005+08:00

I look at our chat logs and i can't help but feel an instant sweep of euphoria when i note how we're talking better than before.

169

2009-09-22T13:17:00.004+08:00

(I could stare at this all day long...)

Love is the hardest thing in the world to write about. It’s so simple. You’ve got to catch it through details. Like the early morning sunlight hitting the grey tin of the rainspout in front of her house. The ring of the telephone that sounds like Beethoven’s Pastorale. A letter scribbled on her office stationary that you carry around in your pocket because it smells like all the lilacs in Ohio.

- The Lost Weekend

I learned the hard way that i cannot always count on others to respect my feelings, even if i respect theirs. Being a good person doesn't guarantee that others will be good people, too. You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you can only choose to accept them or walk away.

- Unknown

Best friends are the ones who can be the farthest away but there the fastest when you call.

- Unknown

There's always something left to love.

- A Raisin In The Sun

We all accept the love that we deserve.

- The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

(This is so pretty...)

Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.

- Unknown

Don't just exist. Be alive.

168) Happy 17

2009-09-22T12:14:00.010+08:00

I feel a bit guilty for not writing about my birthday celebrations on the two respective days but really i was quite sleepy. I even slept through 12am on the actual day which was something that i never thought i would. The first excitement ringing through that it's finally the "big day", that it's "my day" and how all the birthday wishes would begin flowing through non stop. But it is nice. Nice to know that people actually remember that you exist and that you actually mean something enough for them to make the effort to recognise that and wish you.

So, yesterday i spent the day with a couple of friends tied closely to my heart and it was lovely. I guess i could no longer contain the excitement in me for i woke up earlier than usual and when i did, i felt strained. Strained with anticipation.

I got dressed and ready quicker than usual and even left the house almost in a slurred kind of hurry and daze. Paced my way as calmly as i could through traffic junctions, uneven pathways and patches of almost dying grass till i found my way to Thai Express where two of my favourite and bestest of friends were seated in a corner with a cake and a lited candle on it and two paperbags which i assumed were gifts from them to me, aww.

I got sung the birthday song twice this year and i got to make the wishes twice this year. But birthday wishes are always made in a frenzy, finding something out of nothing to make a wish about. They ordered something from the waitress and under the dimly lit amber light of the restaurant, i thought both of them looked really pretty and i thought they were the best people ever. I'm even smiling to myself as i'm writing this out.

We talked while they ate their stuff and i stuffed myself with cake and more cake. And we talked and i didn't want it to end cause i wonder when we'll be able to do so again. They paid the bill and we went outside and took alot of photos till my camera's battery dropped to one bar, but it was fun and worth the while and i loved the moments.

After that, i met up with the others whom for the first time in my entire history of going out with them, were actually on time! That made me happy too because it meant something. And three quarters of the time, i remember myself laughing and smiling over anything and everything cause i really felt happy, genuinely happy.

And we tried to make our way to House Dempsey for an event but sadly the flea wasn't as "fun" as i supposed it should be. Extremely packed with people, i was smashed up against people's backs or faces half the time and i couldn't walk and breathe. Chewing on Jo's bubble gum only made it worse and i felt so exhausted after that, but i survived.When i finally squeezed my way out of the area, i couldn't thank god for anything more than making my way out of there and being alive.

Anyway, i didn't purchase anything from the flea. Nothing caught my eye apart from cute "english" guys which i self proclaimed, were extra birthday gifts for me. hehehe ^^

I realise my birthday post is getting really long so i'll just fast forward a whole lot and get to unravelling my presents. So, i wanna say thank you to all those who wished me through whatever means and also to the people who spent the day with me as well as to those who gave me presents. And, i had a terrible time trying to open a gift that had 17 layers of wrapping paper around it, but i suppose that was the best present i've received so far.

Thank you!

p.s i really love the book
p.p.s he wished me!!!!! ^^p.p.p.s photos are up on Facebook, i'm lazy to upload!

167) Listen

2009-09-20T15:19:00.006+08:00

When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always what they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know what is in their hearts. Remove your own masks to let people know who you really are.
When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you have. You never know when you might lose it. Never take your friends or family for granted, because today and sometimes only this very moment is the only guarantee you may have.
When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of your body as best as you can, it’s the one thing that you are sure to have forever.
When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, do not judge them by how they look or act, instead base it on the contents of what is in their hearts.
When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don’t turn your back on love, because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings you will make up for all of your past hurts. Times a thousand fold.
When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is often the most difficult and painful of life’s experiences, but it is also the most courageous thing a person can do.
When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is man’s greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptations. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.
When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.
When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control.
When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.
When you enter someone’s life, whether by plan, chance or coincidence, consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die, will your life have resulted in more loving or more hurting? More comfort or more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us has the power over the balance of the love in the world. Use it wisely!

gimme something to believe

2009-09-20T14:12:00.001+08:00

in just about half a day more, i'll turn seventeen. and i wonder what tomorrow will bring...

this weekend has been really dull and lazy, apart from this video clip that i saw last night which left me startled, stunned and extremely traumatised.

(watch it if you dare)
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=126737645628&ref=mf

***

10443.) Everytime I see that you're online, I change my privacy settings to show that I'm online too, hoping that you'll notice me when you check your online friends. But you never do.

...or are you waiting ...

cause we're all beautiful

2009-09-19T12:25:00.003+08:00

Girl: Grandpa, am i pretty?
Grandpa: You are the most prettiest girl I've ever seen.

so love me for me

2009-09-17T13:16:00.002+08:00

You can be loved
even if you are not perfect
even if you don’t know the answer
even if you are horribly confused
even if you can’t make anyone feel better
even if you don’t know how to make yourself well
even if you made a mistake
even if you don’t know how to be
even if you are ashamed
even if you are hopeless
even if you don’t quite fit in
even if you are scared
even if you are lonely
even if you shouldn’t be having such a hard time right now
even if you don’t think so
even if you haven’t found your place yet
even if you aren’t proud of yourself
even if no one has really seen you before
even if you don’t know what to do
even if you try too hard
even if you’re disappointed
even if you don’t really like yourself right now
even if you are beyond good advice
even if you don’t know how to cry
even if you think this post must be meant for someone other than you

- Jen Lemen

***

can someone buy me the book... 14,000 things to be happy about by Babara Ann...

fml fml fml fml fml

2009-09-16T23:43:00.004+08:00

feel pretty sick now. how i've been having this stomach ache that seems adamant on making me feel this awful, and this strange silent droning at the back of my head that's gonna drive me insane if it doesn't stop soon.

and these couple of days, i've been feeling quite troubled over some stuff. and i think FML, like seriously. seriously. *sad face*

hopefully, i'll get enlightened soon, by whatever means! ^^
i'm quite sad that i missed 11.11 a couple of minutes ago.
although i'm not sure if my wishes do come true but somehow, i strongly believe that they really do. maybe in fragmented pieces, in minimal amounts, maybe in ways that i can't see just yet! haiiii

anyway, i have a grave confession to make...

i think i might just have fallen in ♥ with Megan Fox. i mean fuckkkkk yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa, she's just so bloooody bleeedingggggggg hot!!!!!!!! soo irresistable!!

my internet is so fucked up now! and Killing Floor is damn fun! ^ ^

haiii, and i need a hug now to perk my pathetic soul up! but.... haiii shit, i think i go hug my dog now. bye.

P.S: N, i ♥ you too! ^^ cheer up already. hee *hugs*

2009-09-14T02:11:00.002+08:00

The streetlights stand, guarding those who walk home alone through the night. Her breath curls like smoke signals as they pass together, silent, through the dappled light. It is three am and in five hours time he will break her heart. He will take it, gently at first, holding it to his as the sky lifts from navy blue to golden sunrise. Then whilst she sleeps he will rise, take it to the window, hold it high above his head and send it smashing to the dead ground below. She will never quite recover. But for now, they are beautiful.

maybe. really... the best kind of love is one without expectations

2009-09-13T13:08:00.001+08:00

"if what you see by the eye doesn't please you then close your eyes and see from the heart. beause the heart can see beauty and love more than the eyes can ever wonder."

can't let the music stop

2009-09-12T18:16:00.004+08:00

40 random things that make me happy...

1) stealing chocolates when mom is not looking
2) playing a trick on my dog
3) dreaming
4) watching a good meaningful movie
5) having a good laugh!
6) best friends!
7) listening to good music!
8) david archuleta + kris allen + me = 3some HAHAHAHA (eh not in any pervertic way please)
9) surprises!
10) discovering shittttt about myself & people
11) writing
12) feeling good about myself and the world
13) tap tap revenge!
14) exploring new stuff
15) compliments!
16) doing something well
17) learning stuff
18) eating junk food
19) nature + animals!!!
20) phone calls into the night
21) making 11.11 wishes
22) reading
23) googling shit
24) dancing
25) cheap thrills
26) experimenting with anything and everything
27) story telling time!
28) sleeping
29) sunrises & sunsets
30) parties
31) getting presents! letters! emails!
32) making new friends
33) gaining someone's trust
34) helping others
35) falling in love
36) hugs
37) taking good photos
38) having a fun and good time with friends!
39) baking
40) shopping!!!!

mm, so what makes you happy!

please restart my heart

2009-09-12T13:02:00.002+08:00

How do you...

1) stop making assumptions

2) know when someone is worth of your efforts

3) know if she/he is a true friend

4) carry on loving unconditionally

5) know when to give up

6) fucking let go of crappy people and shit alike

7) stop thinking, like seriously, just fucking STOP.

8) to know if someone is the one for you

9) stop putting yourself down and feeling bad for everything that doesn't turn out well (even if it's not your fucking fault)

10) to carry on believing

11) to pick the pieces up and fit them back together again

12) to understand

13) to be understood

14) to conquer your innermost fears

15) face the world with optimism and strength with each living breath

16) to feel alive and in sync with your values daily

17) to just be someone you really wanna be and the best that you could ever be...
18) to do your best
19) to try, no matter what
20) to believe in yourself, always.

friday, i eat chuzxz

2009-09-11T20:08:00.001+08:00

it seems like these days, i'm becoming habitually late for all my dates with friends or whatsoever and i'm not sure why cause i used to be fairly on time before. but then i realised that was probably cause back then, my mom always hurried me cause usually i'd be taking my own sweet time, hehe

and yup. finally (like seriously, seriously.) caught up with nina who is still as insane and random as ever (looking good hehe ;p) melodi who was as sweet as before and who else but that damn obnoxious creature whom i adore alot, jolene! and as of late, she has ascended the glorious and honourable position of being my "ma-ma" (say that in chinese),
hahahaha

had a great time today despite aching legs and petered out eyes. (fast forward)
and mel had her nose pierced! it was pretty cool! i can't wait for my navel! ^^
together with demi who will be doing her first tatt!

hehehe

lazy thursday

2009-09-10T17:58:00.000+08:00

lazy thursday afternoon spent meeting up with huanxuan for work related matters! i'm having second thoughts about working at famous amos. as much as i would love to begin work, i've got this nagging feeling in the back of my head that i wouldn't be able to last long. i might, quite seriously, quit after a week considering how fickle i am. and dad has reminded me repeatedly (and just now) that i didn't need the money. but that's not the point, i just want to feel new experiences, it's refreshing!

but anyway, headed to Bugis's famous amos which (just now) were mended by 2 ladies in mid 20's i reckon? and down to Ion Orchard where i was again greeted by 2 ladies and one of them had a startling resemblance to the lady who greeted me at Bugis! :O

ambled around Ion, level after level aimlessly and finally settled down around benches and food court tables to play Tap Tap Revenge!

and there you go, my lazy thursday afternoon. i'm so hyped up for tomorrow, gonna meet up with my favourite girls! ♥ i miss them terribly! and yesterday was 090909!!
and yesterday... yesterday night was lovely. :)

Today I...

2009-09-08T12:19:00.004+08:00

1) looked up new music/genres/bands/songs
2) spent hours perusing through quotes
3) listened to my favourite songs on repeat for hours
4) decided that chocolate shall be my best friend for today
5) peeled off layers of chapped black nail laquer and flicked the broken pieces out of my window. falling out in an uneven spray of little black specks and in their last moments, glittered brilliantly in the morning light.
6) tried my best not to think about you
7) reminded myself countless times that if it's meant to be, it's going to happen... that i shouldn't fret.
8) read my favourite tumblrs & lj communities
9) missed my best friend
10) wondered about a million trillion billion random things
11) googled strange stuff
12) saved tons of beautiful quotes/poems/photographs
13) killed an ant :(
14) spoke to a random stranger (omegle)
15) daydreamed about the future
16) am in ♥ with Neyo's Part Of The List

it's an owl city

2009-09-07T11:27:00.002+08:00

"if you felt it, then it was true. getting hurt doesn't always mean you suffered, it also means you loved sincerely. don't frown because it's over... SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED."

***
and i'm midly amused with omegle. but it gets bored and dreary after a little while. which kinda sucks.

2009-09-06T22:29:00.000+08:00

it's really weird, but i get damn hungry easily when i'm depressed.
and it's weird how my emotional baggage and pain can manifest itself so easily in the form of awful physical pain like headaches. :/
***
anyway, a little something from someone i love! thank you! it just widened my horizon of thoughts.

And sometimes I feel kind of lonely
ask myself where is my one and only
until she comes to me, I'll wait
until then I shouldn't be feeling this way

Won't let no Valentines get me down
or when Christmas time comes around
just cuz I'm alone right now
don't' mean I should hold a frown

oh in the meantime love is here you'll find
the simple things that slip your mind
the joy of hope for better days
you know that love can find it's ways

"i am. i'm afraid."

2009-09-06T13:35:00.003+08:00

this is so hard. they tell me to fight for it, to fight for what i want cause it's gonna be now or never.

this is so hard. everytime i think about ... i feel this strange intensifying swell of something in the centre of my chest brawling to explode.

and i know i want this a lot, but what if...

so i think, if it's meant to be it'll be. i'll leave it at that i guess, now i don't why i feel this unmistakable feeling of guilt and sadness. i shall indulge in movies instead.

2009-09-05T16:33:00.004+08:00

"Its funny how a heart is two tear drops upside down."
-Unknown

her voice is so beautiful...and the lyrics are so heartwrenching :(

"love is my religion, i could die for it."

2009-09-05T11:54:00.000+08:00

"What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you."
- V for Vendetta

"The world is a looking-glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. Frown at it, and it will in turn look sourly upon you; laugh at it and with it, and it is a jolly kind companion."
- William Makepeace Thackeray

"Be here now, and know the beauty of what is. Free yourself from concerns about what was,or anxieties about what will be."
- Ralph Marston

<:

2009-09-04T21:13:00.004+08:00

Serendipity
is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated.

"we're gonna make it through this year even if it kills us."

2009-09-03T12:44:00.001+08:00

***

so which will you pick?

marina barrage

2009-09-02T18:54:00.003+08:00

my outfit today! ^^ ***
the weather sucked terribly today, i feel so awful.
how my head's spinning and my tummy feels bloated and my eyes feel really heavy. but i had a great time with my clique! ^^ pictures up on facebook!
grab 'em and tag yourselves. xoxo.

so now you know

2009-09-01T13:06:00.002+08:00

"i love you also means i love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, i love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, i love you in a way that i love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else."

Oh kids

2009-09-01T13:02:00.002+08:00

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds: "What does love mean?"

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."Bobby - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

marc jacobs

2009-09-01T13:01:00.002+08:00

"I like people who have a sense of individuality. I love expression and anything awkward and imperfect, because that’s natural and that’s real."

"watch the stars sparkle and fade."

2009-09-01T12:48:00.002+08:00

so i couldn't or rather didn't want to fall alseep last night just cause i feel like if i did, i'd feel unaccomplished, like i've got unfinished business for that day. in came someone's text and amidst the dark of my room, i saw something flickr and lit up in a dull spray of light and i knew it was you. hahaha you text me all the time and it's kinda nice. so you and i, we didn't sleep. i suggested we play a game. truth or dare but i suppose it ended up being a truth game considering that we played it over text messages but i thought it was fuckin cool and sure enough it was. i told you to start first and so you did. beginning with a question... "who was your first crush." and i remember i laughed silently to myself as i tried to recall the last shred of memory that i had with/of my first crush. we continued asking each other anything and everything. and i thought it was really awesome that this is happening.
i haven't had such a deep, meaningful, out of the blue, random conversation with someone in a long long time. i bombarded with you continuously with series after series of questions and you were so nice to answer all of them, truthfully. from a game, it turned into a one of those unforgettable, heartwarming spontaneous bonding session(s).
at 4 in the morning, i thought to myself you're one, dammit awesome amazing fucking crazily beautiful person. so glad we met.

:DD

2009-09-01T12:33:00.002+08:00

"you will bring sunshine into someone's life."

2009-08-31T22:42:00.006+08:00

my heart is fucking exhausted from everything.
but i'll keep going,
cause things can only get better, right?cause we'll only shine when we go through the burning,don't we?:)go me!

"live by the sun. love by the moon."

2009-08-31T17:10:00.002+08:00

carnival

2009-08-30T13:12:00.003+08:00

a trip back to saint joseph's convent for it's annual family day carnival(?) suprisingly, the place still resembled pretty much the last memory that i had of it,
which i reckon was last year? when i came back to collect my O level results. and it was nice coming back to a place filled with memories both pleasant and bad, the only thing that was such a pity was that my favourite canteen stalls
were not opened for business, i miss the canteen food....
recess time was one of my favourite periods during school hours!!!!

we (demi, jo, wc, hx & me) left after catching up with several classmates and subject teachers and we left to meet
delia at orchard for lunch at pastamania! but that was when i had my gastric which was pretty awful. it made me feel all bloated and it felt as if acidic fingers were tugging at the sides of my stomach and it hurt real badly. then we occupied the six table space at pastamania, took some photos and talked about stuff and i thought it was really nice... hahaha i like! mm, didn't catch Orphan though since the timing wasn't good so we decided to head to Clarke Quay!

we got to see forbidden butts :/ while walking past Hooters and this Ginger cat that sat around restaurants located alongside the river bank. smiled at this cute caucasian toddler who got so shy he pasted his cute pudgy hands across his eyes and peered between his fingers as he smiled as us walking away. hehehe how cute! got approached by a group of super cute kids for donation and this cute boy trotted up to me and gave me the sticker and looked at me with his bright brown eyes! awww.. bought a dollar worth of chocolate chip ice cream from the uncle ice cream cart, which was pretty tasty though it got kinda nasty when it melted into warm bubbly foam that looked rather irksome, got offered by this dude who wanted to treat all of us to any drinks that we wanted to while we sauntered past this bar with cool decor, sat by the river side along these flight of steep steps that sunk into the river and took photos...attempted to wave to tourist crusing by on the boat but we were all too shy, hahahaha. and we left a little while after that!

fun day!

p.s pictures up on facebook. i'm feelin lazy to upload
them up here! ^^

now its time for a movie marathon!

2009-08-27T22:38:00.001+08:00

OMG STREEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hahahaa, micro A SUCKSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

photo burst(s) II

2009-08-27T12:30:00.006+08:00

i'm gonna get inked like this ^^

"let's find some place beautiful and get lost."

fuckinawesome

2009-08-27T12:29:00.001+08:00

just one more paper to go before i regain all my freedom!
oh my, the mere thought of it is fuckin exhilarating!
and i think about all the wonderful fun stuff that i'm gonna do after that and i can't help but feel waves of euphoria! and now that it's raining and i'm all alone at home, on my bed with good music playing on repeat mode as company, it's kinda awesome.

and these past few days, i've been feelin really happy.
it's kinda hard to describe the source of my happines but i've realised something that i think is fuckin important. probably everyone will realise it come one day. mm. i've thought hard about it and yea i think that happiness doesn't necessarily have to come from an external source and the best kind of happiness is one that's flowing from within. i swear when you feel that kind of happiness, it's one of the best damn thing that could ever happen. its like finally regaining a solid self of yourself, finally seeing things in the right light after struggling for a periods of time in the dark, worthless attempts of trying to yank yourself out from It all but not quite grasping/feeling right/true to yourself.

and this time, i'm at a loss for words. but you'll know when you feel it. haha i think i might have to credit kris allen's songs for this. oh god, i really love him! hahahaha.

and last night, something extremely amazing happened. and i'm so damn glad that it happened. absolutely brightened up my day. that's why i always say, if it's meant to be yours, no matter what it'll always come back to you!
fate is such a breathtaking phenomenon, seriously.

and this coming saturday. a good clique reunion.
i've waited for this a long time. hahaha. ^ ^
just wanna say: i love you guys SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!! hahahaha. yay ok i'm damn happy now. lOOl haha :D

mmm, i wanna go on a movie marathon!!!!!!!!

cheers

2009-08-26T11:40:00.001+08:00

watch this. it's so dorky yet so sweet and cute!

***

♥

2009-08-26T11:39:00.002+08:00

" i think, the best and most precious things in life are:

big warm hugs
passionate kisses
the smell of rain
daydreaming
walking through a field of wildflowers
laughing
smiles from anyone, particularly strangers
soft cushy pillows
anything chocolate

and lastly,
being loved."

photoburst(s)

2009-08-25T17:35:00.003+08:00

***

LMFAO

2009-08-25T17:34:00.000+08:00

lauren says: soo do you love her?
luke says: ...Saywhat?
luke says: By love you mean...
lauren says: like you have that tingly feeling when you see her
luke says: ...An erection?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAAA omg. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA nOOb.

2009-08-24T16:24:00.002+08:00

C: :) :D :P :D :D :D :D :D :D :) :) :)
C: C: C: C: :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :> :>
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
:) C: <:

"every atom of me missed him"

2009-08-24T14:15:00.002+08:00

attempting to score and do relatively ok in the math paper today sucked terribly.
i don't think i have a mind logical enough for math! omg, it's always one of the worst subjects that i've ever taken. and tomorrow and the day following that, i'll be
bombarded with chemistry and thereafter comes the horrendous microbiology paper!!!!! :O i think my brain will cease to function after that cause all my cells have died!!!! poor neurons getting tortured to death! :( anyway, gotta go study now. sigh. fuckin torment. hee but can't wait for friday!!!! omg. joy peace and laughter.

***

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA OMG THIS JUST BRIGHTENED UP MY DAY! HAHAHAHAH SO CUTE AND FUNNY!!!

<:

2009-08-23T17:22:00.001+08:00

oh, karma.
ouch

in love with a dream

2009-08-23T12:56:00.006+08:00

crazy connectionyou and me

***

"you'll make it through the pain,weather the hurricane."

elevator into my skull

2009-08-22T16:48:00.001+08:00

2009-08-22T11:56:00.003+08:00

i just woke up about an hour ago(maybe lesser than that) and here i am, feeling my lids closing upon themselves involuntarily. i feel so sleepy... zzzzz but it feels horrible to lie down and sleep just after downing a plate of noodles (tasty!) and a bowl of sliced green apples with cashew nuts! (the combination is good! i like.) and i've been feeling really bored, everything has been so mundane that i feel literally dead everyday. talk about my life going downhill (again) at 10000000000miles/millisecond. i'm just so fucking bored!!!!!!!! and fucking exams=crap. so now, it's not that i want the holidays to arrive asap. its a need. i need to do things, crazy things... cheap thrills whatever exciting shit. i wanna feel alive!!!!!!!! i wanna laugh my heart out, till my guts ache, till tears flow out and i wanna scream with all my might till my heart shakes and everything horrible that has been piling within shatters and disappears away. mm. for now, i'm gonna sleep. hopefully i dream of something fabulous. and btw, hooray to me and fuck you both. good night.

curve

2009-08-21T16:12:00.002+08:00

"Maybe if i never met you… life wouldn’t be as colorful. Reds wouldn’t be the deep pool of crimson and blues would always dilute into a desaturated grey. And if we didn’t have green, there would be no trees… so we’d never breathe.

The roads would never run, full of life and full of noise. The roads would never run because the reds, greens and oranges never existed.

Sunflowers would never be beautiful.
Violet would never ripple in layers of smooth, thick silk. Indigo would never be the color that joined blue and violet together in the rainbow. The rainbow wouldn’t exist.
If i never met you, the rainbow wouldn’t exist."

***

12:00

2009-08-21T11:52:00.003+08:00

"I try to talk to you, but I don’t know what to say. I am afraid you don’t want me to say anything. So I don’t. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart.And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you.But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too… but I’ll never know."
- Unknown

"I push away people when they get too close, just to see if they'll fight back for me. I thought you'd try, but you just turned right around and walked away. I'll never forgive you."
- Unknown

***and i think Mae & Matt Nathanson are so damn amazing. ♥

I'M IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-20T14:07:00.002+08:00

14:02 love at first sight

omg. i just had to blog this!!!!!!!!!!!!
i fucking love this outfit of hers!
short black dresses are so bloody freaking brilliant!
and long black coats... ahhhhhh. and when you pair short black dresses with long black coats... and throw on edgy accessories... i likey! simple yet stylish!
Je t'aime Je t'aime x 1000000000000000000000000000000.

http://lookbook.nu/user/6412-Caroline-B
ok, im officially in love with her style.
end of discussion.

17:02 hyperventilaion!!! omg

oh gosh. in love

13:29

2009-08-20T13:00:00.001+08:00

"the days aren't discarded or collected, they are bees that burned with sweetness or maddened the sting..."

i'm absolutely in love with those set of curtains in the background. i suppose they're my favourite type of curtains. simple. a soft, delicate shade of soft ivory that's slightly translucent and supple yet refreshingly crisp to the touch.

and i think it would be really pretty imagining how they hang and settle upon those huge frames of transparent glass windows overlooking the endless blue-gray of sea that bleeds into the horizon as one. and imagine, when sunrise or sunset settles in and you sit by a corner in that room and watch the slow but sure winding of sun beams dwindling through, cascading into a pool of light on the floor. and there, those curtains illuminated, a lonesome flame glowing. so peaceful. so serene. so randomly beautiful, isn't it?

hahaha, i'll definitely pick them when i finally have my own apartment in the near future! ^^

anyway, currently i'm waiting to raid her accessories rack/closet/drawers!!!!!!! look at how amazing these pieces of jewellery are!!! the rings are literally to die for!

and... look at those ripped jeans!!!!! gosh, i love them sooo much! but i can't seem to find them around here? :/
ugh, both shades of denim look sooo good to me!!!

Je t'aime

and i think bodycon dresses are sooo awesome too!! oh sigh, thinking about them makes me feel the same euphoria as thinking about my crushes!! heee

if only, someone could get them for me, i'll dance as silly as this for you! hahaha

jim carrey is so cute hahaha

2009-08-19T20:06:00.001+08:00

"if you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you."
- anonymous

6:04

2009-08-19T18:04:00.001+08:00

sunset? sunrise? :):

***

i'm in the midst of studying week. probably the most crucial week before the examinations but yet i have little motivation to study. not that i don't wish to get my desired results of straight A's (if that's even possible), or A's coupled with B's. but instead of mugging like the rest of my friends, i'm caught up with seemingly insignificant matters (at this point of time) and it really bothers me but the matter that really bothers me is that despite knowing this, i'm still doing it all the same. how frustrating can this get!!!! ugh. i've really gotta start. i have to. i have to get down to studying...

sigh. yet, another series of inner battle outbreaks. ha. i'm so pathetic sometimes. hahaha...

and i'm contemplating once again if i should get inked this holidays, i'm really in a major dilemma! ugh, doofus me. :(
why am i so fickle minded/indecisive/wanting too many things and not being able to put my mind wholly to something! prrfft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, heres a little something to share with everyone!

P.S i just flicked an ant to it's dead fall. :/

quizzy

2009-08-18T20:52:00.002+08:00

Now don't cheat. Go with the first dessert you choose. If all the eight desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can only pick one!). Pick your dessert and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you. It is pretty accurate!
Here are your choices:

1. Angel Food Cake
2. Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue Pie
4. Vanilla Cake with chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Short Cake
6. Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Icing
7. Ice Cream
8. Carrot Cake

No, you can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully what your choice will be.

OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what the researchers say about you... SCROLL DOWN. No Cheating.

........
1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE -- Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

2. BROWNIES -- You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE -- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent caregiver and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, you set your own style because you do your own thing. You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends.

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lacking motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life..

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be emotional at times but a true person in every way. You like to do things yourself: not asking for help. You help others learn about themselves.

6. CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING - Sweet; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you also enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote c control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

8. CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm-hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends. You were meant to lead and teach others. A wonderful role model.

and i picked Chocolate cake with chocolate icing. hahaha, pretty true huh!

delicate

2009-08-18T20:34:00.002+08:00

6 billion of us walking on this planet.

6 billion stories, every one an epic, full of tragedy & triumph, good & evil, hope and despair.

To find 2 people who have the same heart isn’t a coincidence. It’s a God damn miracle. And it happens every day. :) "Life can be so randomly beautiful."

WANTED

2009-08-17T15:59:00.003+08:00

i swear that if my mouse pad cease to work properly and if my portable mouse is/remains adamant on quitting on me than i hereby pronounce myself dead. anyway, people on my most wanted list! watch out... (evil laughter)

name: jolene otherwise known as the bombini LOL :/
last time seen: too long for my brilliant mind to conceive
note: a hideous(hahahaha) photo of the villian mentioned above will be shown. hehe (looks below, MONSTER acting cute!!!!!!! holy fuck,oops hee)

next up we have...

name: demi
last seen: school's south canteen
note: let's get inked! ok this one, not really a villian la lol HAHA :/ sorry jo, thy is extremely biased against chiuuu. (vaiii...)

name: delia or otherwise known as png ahma :/ HAHA sorry to expose hehehe.
last seen: mm a long long time ago!!!!!!!
note: miss you velllly much! but thank god for daily updates. haha 1/4 forgiven. picture up!
(purrrrttyyy girl hehehe, my bff!)pierce piece HAHA

last but not least!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

name: wenchi lee!!
last seen: a million light years ago.
note: miss you vellllllllllly much tooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(cuz i can't find individual pictures LOL. anw, girl on left plz!)

LISTEN UP!!! haha
if anyone sees them please bring them back to me (hehehe) reward: smoochies from me to you!!! my priceless smoochies :D

xx

hahahaha, i am so bored that i thought of this. anyway, time to go back to studying again! love you all!!!!
♥ x 00, btw berry essence is suprisngly tasty!

2009-08-16T16:54:00.002+08:00

strange and charming

bright blue electric spark in the night,
a struck match flaring to life.

this isn't it

2009-08-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

"If I have to disappear for you to appear, if I have to go away for your heart to grow fonder, you can keep your fondness. Its not me you're missing, its the attention."

- Cris Crocker

Nick Vujicic ♥

2009-08-15T17:42:00.004+08:00

watch till the end.

"I’ve decided that the stuff falling through the cracks is confetti and I’m having a party!"

2009-08-15T12:02:00.004+08:00

ok. i don't like studying because it bores me to death. is excruciating and takes a toll on my mind and feelings. all i wanna do everyday is to play and have fun. but since ultimately, i still have to study... i shall make studying fun and treat it like... it's the most wonderful thing ever because gaining knowledge about something "unknown" is quite amazing after all? right? ok! time to go and study my ass off!! stop procastinating and suck it up!!!!!!!!!!! go me! hahaha.

fuckyeah

2009-08-13T22:02:00.005+08:00

"Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times.

Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more.

Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve.

And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be.

And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that you needed the most.

But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each person that experiences it. And you will learn to respect each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved."

- Unknown

you make my heart flutter

2009-08-13T20:56:00.002+08:00

"I don’t want to be somebody’s crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don’t want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it, too. I want them to be able to do whatever they want around me. And if they do something I don’t like, I’ll tell them."
- The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

(The story is narrated by a teenager who goes by the alias of "Charlie"; he describes various scenes in his life by writing a series of letters to an anonymous person, whom he does not know personally.)
and i would really love to get my hands on this book although i have no idea where to get it. :/ bookstore i know, but which one? i recalled pretty clearly that someone (don't know who) mentioned the book to me once or twice before and said that it was really moving at some parts. whatever it is, simply reading this quote makes me feel like i'll definitely fall in love with the rest of it's contents plus of course the description... "writing a series of letters to an anonymous person" i kinda like the idea, i think it'd be really cool to share your innermost secrets with strangers and prefably one that's located on the otherside of the globe. who knows what would happen eventually... what would happen in the end and what might even happen!

i also remember watching this french movie. ok maybe it isn't a french movie but its a movie situated in France, about this french girl and this american boy who met on the train by chance. (american boy switched seats and soon, started a conversation with french girl) then then... love sets in and all that heart fluttering, blushing and butterflies in your stomach details and they fall deeply in love with one another. haha, kinda crazy how they fit inside sooo many things into a mere two hour flim? then theres the epilogue. after they depart from each other once sunrise, they met up a decade later. older... and left each other at sunset. and i doubt they'll ever meet up again. such a pity.
Before Sunrise 1995 flim.

oh love stories~ hahaha

:O

2009-08-12T18:05:00.000+08:00

so! if you're reading this right now. please get a calculator!
punch in the numbers like this...
13837 x (your age) x 73

i♥it

2009-08-12T15:19:00.004+08:00

"you gotta love yourself, if you can ever love me."

“Do as little harm to others as you can; make any sacrifice for your true friends; be responsible for yourself and ask nothing of others; and grab all the fun you can.

Don’t give much thought to yesterday, don’t worry about tomorrow, live in the moment, and trust that your existence has meaning even when the world seems to be all blind chance and chaos.

When life lands a hammer blow in your face, do your best to respond to the hammer as if it had been a cream pie. Sometimes black humor is the only kind we can summon, but even dark laughter can sustain.”

— Dean Koontz

the reason(s) why my ♥ is in love with tumblr(s)

^ ^

2009-08-11T18:46:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (ok, i sound crazy but i'm happy!)
but anyway... let's just say that i've put an end to whatever that was making me not feel as good
as i should have been feeling. hehe. and from this minute onwards, its a fresh start all over again!

another day

2009-08-11T15:52:00.009+08:00

today, i'm speechless. not in the manner of not being able to utter a word or coherent sentences. my heart is at a loss for words.

today, my impression of MJ has changed.

today, i did things that i didn't like. or rather i did not do things that i'd like myself to do. 10.40AM: in the bus. could have given up my seat to an old couple. yet, i was hesitant. not that i didn't want to , but i was hesitant and i can't figure out why. couple of mintues later, next bus stop. i stood up and made my way to the standing area, settling comfortably against the handrails and that's when the old couple left the bus. thereafter, this young lady boarded the bus and took the seat instead. -_-

today, i was more muddle-headed than ever. i thought i lost my favourite black pen. so immediately, i went to get two more. and on the way back home, i spilled out the contents in my bag onto the car seat and found my pen dangling around the edges of this tiny pocket sitched at the corner in the interior cloth of my bag.
i wasted $3.20.

and today, i miss my laughing buddy. and i miss you, you, you, you and maybe...you.

today, i kept putting Broken on replay mode. it's on repeat since 3PM. it's 3.54PM now. probably played about 10 - 20 times.

today... i feel empty. and i can't afford to feel this way.

cause it's when i'm feeling like this that my defences fall. and slowly but surely, memories of you in bits and pieces start invading my head and... i hate it.

i♥it: favourites

2009-08-11T15:13:00.007+08:00

5:50

2009-08-10T17:50:00.002+08:00

i'm ok. and typography fascinates me. it cheers me up.

and i really admire people who can take good photographs. and by that, i don't mean taking photographs where people in it look hot or whatsoever. i'm talking about the ones soaked with emotions. i could stare into them forever, spend evenings figuring and feeling them out.

and i think have a fetish for long messy waves of either blonde or dark brown hair captured in flim. backview. pale skin. soft beams of sunlight cascading in from the corners, half lit, illuminating... and before the person lies either the endless sea, or an entire field of gloriously yellow sunflowers or fresh green grass or fallen autumn leaves in varying hues of amber. but i like the endless sea best. and above, up up and above, drifting tufts of featherlike clouds in ivory against the evening or morning sky. although i think evening skies are the prettiest. and i like it even better if the entire shade of the photograph was that of diluted blue-gray, or maybe in off whites and slightly shadowy along its edges.

i get really drawn into such photographs. hmm... in fact, i like them best. i think i can almost make a collection of such photographs with the massive number of such photos that i've saved from all over the web.

and sometimes i think i think too much. not as in overanalyzing but just really having too many thoughts and i'm always needing to spill them out somewhere and so i'll usually have multiple random posts a day. haha. kinda weird though... in a way but equally nice in another. and i'm loving my new header.

somehow find, you and i collide

2009-08-10T10:32:00.002+08:00

"the dawn is breaking, a light shining through..."
howie day's collide. hm, my favourite song at the moment!

and finally, i'm really pleased to say that i'm happy with or without you around me.

mmm, ♥ horoscope for today. i kinda like the last sentence. "love is definitely a journet, but it doesn't have to be a battlefield if you are willing to exercise a litle patience." haha.

Virgo's
Your emotions are going to be a little off center today, Virgo, so you may not see too much headway in your love life. You are feeling like your emotions are all over the place, and a stop and go feeling on your emotions will not allow you to focus today. The feelings that are in the air are necessary to experience, but today is not the day to try and push through them. Whether you are single or attached, if you wait for the feelings to subside, you may just find the barriers melt away on their own. Love is definitely a journey, but it doesn't have to be a battlefield if you are willing to exercise a little patience.

heartstrings

2009-08-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were."

αγνώστους

2009-08-09T13:49:00.001+08:00

2009-08-09T12:54:00.007+08:00

i am not in love with you, but you 're in my system.
i miss what i thought you were.

ευχή

2009-08-08T12:14:00.003+08:00

i hate to remember.

the meander of cracks weaving, constantly, stretching out... in all directions, tranversing every inch of my heart. they only grow deeper with time.

last night, i had a short but sweet conversation on the phone with chi. the thought of it makes my heart ache with nostalgia. how we always held conferences with the rest of the clique, bringing up every and almost about any thought that crosses our minds not worrying about being judged and just really embrace being ourselves. chatting late into the night. watching the sun bleed scarlet rays across the diluted blue grey of sombre morning skies. the next time i see these lovely people, i'm so gonna give them a huge bear hug and i'm not gonna let go of them. i've always thought to myself that i couldn't live without them around but then i thought again and realized that i could but really, i'd rather have them in my life.

and You. i've been looking all over. i wonder if you have been doing the same. and i'm always wondering who are you. and how every single detail in my life would make a twist and metamorphose for the better when we finally cross paths. just so you know, i'm always think about you though i have absolutely no idea whatsoever who you are...

and lately, school has been such a bore.

i realised this is my 100th post.

2009-08-03T21:14:00.002+08:00

why so sad.
why so cute.
why so stressed.
why like that.
why aren't you here yet.

2009-08-01T16:38:00.001+08:00

What others see from your style
You tend to be affectionate but not very strong emotionally. You want to be loved, and this can make you appear needy and clingy at times.

What your nightclothes reveal
You are friendly and always in good mood. You are candid and helpful, and can be sexy at times too.

What others see from your ties
You enjoy being alone. You like to life the simple but good life, and you cherish your freedom. You are thoughtful, confident and uninterested in glamour.

What others see from your belts
You are a kind of person who likes to hide your feelings. You may have a hot temper but tend to cover it with an outwardly calm and gentle demeanor. You are sensitive when it comes to love.

What others see from your shoes
You like to be the center of attention. You like to look good at all times and probably never leave the house without makeup on. Although you may be intelligent, you're also insecure about your looks. You care about others, and will always listen to what they have to say.

What others see from your earrings
You are a sweet and talkative person. You are sociable, energetic and interesting, and get easily bored by the same old things. You are always looking for adventure.

The last analysis
You are probably a clever and adventurous person. You love to learn new things, and enjoy socializing with friends. Although you enjoy your freedom, you cherish peacefulness and like to spend time alone with your thoughts.

2009-07-30T17:04:00.002+08:00

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

why am i still sick? i can feel the fever returning again! cause it's always starts with my neck and eyes feeling weird and warmer than usual! and then it'll escalate into fever!!!! and it's fever coming back at full force!! :( i'm supposed to be on mc for 3 days but i went back to school today and i'm probably gonna go back again tomorrow, although mommy says that i shouldn't but i have to complete com skills project and i have a freakin presentation on monday and it's a last minute notice!!! i feel so stressed up and i'm not getting enough sleep haha, i feel like i need 1.5 weeks of continuous sleep thereafter only will i feel rejuvenated! but i doubt that'll happen anytime soon... and exams are creeping nearer and nearer each day!!!

i received my common tests 1 results the day before yesterday when i first had fever, and i had my gpa counted today by one of my classmates and it wasn't as satisfactory as i'd like it to be but she said it was good enough since it's our first time. hm, hopefully i'll do better for my semenstral exam. ahhhh, that reminds me again, the nagging sensation of anxiety that i'll have french roleplay tomorrow, i'm so scared/nervous/anxious/scared/nervous/anxious.. i hope i don't blabber nonsense or burst out laughing when my partner says his lines cause really he looks like a bear to me and i can't seem to contain my laughter... cause i'll be imagining a bear speaking french to me. and we're gonna practice french later over msn!!! and i feel kinda lazy now and it bothers me because i shouldn't feel that way!

oh pfft. and i miss my favourite group of friends, makes me feel utterly depressed when i think about how we'll only be able to meet in september. hmm but september. hahaha important date somewhere in the middle of the month!!!!! hehehehe. but anyway, at least my school mates now (some of them) are really nice people to hang out with.

aww, love.

2009-07-23T20:45:00.003+08:00

i've been staying back after school day after day this week but finally (at least), i finished physical chemistry project which i reckon is due in next week! hopefully, we'll get lotsa votes on our video and get awesome grades! oh yea and i passed math but it was still a horrible grade. and i just realised that i sooo need to begin memorising the french script if not i'll be dead... and to remember how important it is to put more emphasis on the last syllable.

ugh. and i've got 2 lab reports to finish...an e-assignment to hand up tomorrow morning, oh and i forgot to return my proposal back to my teacher, omg. and also, i've got foreign bodies tomorrow! i think/hope that it's gonna be fun! hm, oh yea and i might be going to this... and maybe flea market?

Her Silent Wish brings you their debut EP titled "The Alchemist".

When: 1st August 2009
Where: *SCAPE the lab
Time: 6.30pm-10.00pm

Opening bands includes:
After The Sky
My Precious
Fall Of Mirra
Blindfold Hero
Every Rage I Seek (not in any order)

and there's dodgeball on saturday and there's also foreign bodies self practice... i've got to master the choreo for junior exam cause i really wanna do well! ^^ hopefully, by then i'll be able to fully grasp every single move and dance really really well! i hope! oh yea! and there was an ecslipe yesterday morning and it's so depressing that i missed it cause of school... and ecslipes only happens 1 in a 100 years i think, gosh! haha so it's like if i wanna see another ecslipe i've gotta live to be 117 years old, which is so damn impossible.

k, it's gonna be 9pm soon and i've gotta start on my work! no more procastination since exams are coming in 3-4 weeks time! *gasps*

& i hope you're coming soon.

2009-07-19T14:01:00.001+08:00

"False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine but leaving us when we cross into the shade."

Christian Nevell Bovee

"It’s been said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is what might have been. But what of a man whose faced with what was? Or what may never be? Or what can no longer be? Choosing the right path is never easy. It’s a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes we find our way to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice and our jealousy and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be. And that’s when we find our way to something better. Or when something better finds its way to us."

Dan - Voiceover

2009-07-18T16:27:00.002+08:00

omg. 4 projects: microbiology A's blog, physical chemistry's video, imb's debate and comm skills's research and report writing. and i've exams due in 5 weeks time... so that means i'll have to add on doing tutorials, cca and revision which means that i'll only be half alive everyday until the next hols. omg... anyway, i hope delia gets well soon enough! miss you alottttttttttttt. ok, time to go study :((( hoho, bi.

♥

2009-07-18T01:16:00.004+08:00

"I'm going to scream it out, because so many wonderful people are being thrown to the curb.

If you have someone in your heart and you know they deserve to be there, you'd better tell them. A chance like this may not come for a long time, and by the time it comes around again, you may be too tired.

So open your heart, climb every mountain and shout it from the top.

We weren't made to be invincible. We were made human so that we can make mistakes. We learn a lesson from every fall. But it's not how hard you fall that matters. It's how high you rise up after dusting the dirt off. Now pick yourself up, because there's a whole life ahead of you to live, so don't waste anymore time."

and i was just wondering, why can't and why aren't we giving the same ♥ that we ourselves would like to receive from others? since afterall, what we all crave deep down inside is simply to be loved and to love...

92

2009-07-13T20:03:00.002+08:00

i've been chewing on peanuts for the last couple of minutes and now my jaw is aching. :( anyway, i've been replacing chocolate bars and potato chips with chewing gum (hehe :x but the extra mint flavour is horrible>> it's like eating toothpaste O:) and roasted peanuts! oh yea, i got back results for french and comskills and omg, they aren't satisfactory at all! so mad with myself for not putting in enough effort, haha :( but ok, i'm determined to score better the next time round! i want all my A's and the least that i want to get would be a B! so time to start revising :( i feel like it's o levels everytime and everyday school starts... :( but i wanna complete my course well and hopefully? get my ass into uni? :x i hope~

One Hundred

2009-07-11T11:59:00.004+08:00

2009-07-10T23:59:00.002+08:00

10.10am: a brand new friday morning

11.15am: breakfast while watching my favourite serial drama on cable tv
11.30am: facebook, msn, check email/sms-es, update apps on itunes
12.45pm onwards till late afternoon: fashion blogs, quote-book, livejournal communities, classical music, bedroom, apricots for tea break
Early evening till midnight: wheat bun + coffee flavoured bun for dinner. mini movie marathon, the other end of the line, 30 days of night, deadly pledge. edited blog layout. msn, facebook. sms. skipped dance practice ~ feelin' lazy, hehe
12am: sleep.

[edit]

12am onwards: movie marathon~ Dawn of the dead, 28 weeks later...

Into the night: catching up with Delia ♥ , facebook, msn ♥

2am+: sleep

x

2009-07-10T11:44:00.003+08:00

Which is more important:
The intention behind the words? OR

The impression the words give?

I'd say the intention and the actions that follow.

2009-07-07T14:50:00.000+08:00

where are you...

2009-07-06T12:33:00.003+08:00

Karen has viewed today's fortune of Virgo in Daily Horoscope.

Love: You have every chance to meet the love of your life.
Career: Avoid making promises you can’t keep, someone might use them against you.

Health: You must be careful of minor accidents.
Wealth: Consult professionals about all your money decisions – avoid dealing with finances on your own.

Hm... where's the Love part coming...

fy

2009-07-05T21:34:00.007+08:00

You, thanks for always being there for me no matter what. :)
You , thank you for everything, you've been really awesome, i didin't think we be like that now, love you very much.
You, thank you for being there for me as well, i think you and - look really cute and sweet together, love you.

You, i miss the times i had with you, meet ups during the holidays!
You, i don't think it's quite possible for us to be that, but i do think we have a really nice friendship, i like the way how things are right now...
You, i haven't seen you in awhile, i hope you're doing well. i hope you get well soon, can't wait for wedsnesday!
You, sometimes you annoy me a great deal but you're still sucha fine nice friend, hugs!
You, i wouldn't know what school would be like if it wasn't for you, hugs! :)

and You, i'm really really disappointed in you...

Okay, so i'm sorta done with my MicroA revision. Whatever it is, i'm hoping to get at least a B and if luck's on my side tomorrow, i would most certainly love to get an A. Anyway, school begins tomorrow but i'll only be heading back for an hour for four consecutive days this week and i'll be free on friday which is a good thing i guess. Time to clear up my table and hit the sacks! Good night!

I hope the sea is just as blue as our dream

2009-07-04T13:28:00.002+08:00

If only you knew that the moments you feel most alone are the moments when you are most connected to every single person in this world. That when you have your eyes shut tight against the dark at night you’re opening them to the hearts of everyone else, scared, shaking, and lonely, every ghost of someone’s sadness. That every morning when you blink against the sleep and the sunshine you are waking up to a world that knows exactly how you feel, and its ok, its ok, its ok. Because the world is still here. And you will be too, no matter how many nights it feels like the pilot light in your chest might extinguish. Let the sun peeking in through the blinds be a memento to that, a testament to the endurance of a collective spirit. Let the light tattoo into your skin a reminder of the strength hidden in deep wells in your chest, buried inside bone and under your heart and lungs, burning in the center of your belly. Engrave it into your every cell because:

There will be times when clouds eat up the sky and no matter how tight you shut your eyes you cant seem to touch on anyone else’s dreams, there will be times that the dark won’t ever have seemed so heavy and tangible and smothering, there will be times when it feels like you’re the only person breathing or not breathing and everyone else is just paper and glue. And your bed never felt so lonesome, even your sheets taste like ever fucking tear you’ve ever shed.

Just sink your fingers into your skin, feel that sunlight, bring your mouth to your palms and breathe in the promise that there is at least one person bound to your being, and they’re carrying a treasure map. With coordinates listed and swirling dotted lines giving exact directions to those wells of strength tucked away inside you. There is at least one person with red string tied between your heart and theirs, your fingers and theirs, who has those directions etched into the lifelines on their palms and in the wrinkles in their knuckles, ready to whisper them into your neck and collarbone when you’re scared. Who will hold your wrist as you take shaking hesitant steps to follow that treasure map to your potential. Who will have your back as you say “fuck you” to all your demons and all your ghosts, who will spit on every nightmare trying to hold you back. Who will kiss your eyelids in the morning and say “wake up, wake up, look at how the sun shines so bright for us.”

And you will smile and smile and smile and even more, now, if your were to close your eyes, you could touch every heart that’s beating, every heart that’s still, every heart who’s beat is yet to come. Even more than sadness, everyone shares that smile. ”wake up, you have to see the sky this morning, you have to see the sun”, and you can press your palms against each others in wonder, seeing how they fit together, you can read each others maps.

brighteratnight's, 2amtomorning

www.givesmehope.com

2009-07-01T11:28:00.006+08:00

http://www.givesmehope.com/

"Freshman year, there was a crippled girl bound to a wheelchair. For 4 years, she did physical therapy and progressed to crutches. When we graduated a few weeks ago, she handed her crutches to an officer and walked across the entire stage. The applause from the seniors was deafening. She cried the whole way. GMH"

"Two years ago, I tried to kill myself by swallowing a bottle of painkillers. My online friend, who I'd never met, was the only person who knew. He called 911, they pumped my stomach to save my life. Today, I got my bachelor's degree in sociology. I'm now going to grad school. GMH"

"The other day, my sister and I wrote encouraging messages on sticky notes and stuck them on every car on one street. The messages read "Smile - you're gorgeous!" "Have a wonderful morning!" "Love yourself because you're beautiful!". I can't help but feel happier for putting joy out into the world. I accidentally made my own day, and it GMH."

.........

(read more at website)

reading things like these... makes me smile :)